Cleanse the Soul, not the Body

Just to clarify I don't look to lose weight because I want to look like a Victoria's Secret model. I know my body wasn't built to ever look like that and I've come to terms with that. But sometimes I forget that just because I put on a few extra pounds, it isn't a reason to hide my body.

I do well in school, not valedictorian good but good enough to get me into the Italian National Honor Society, the English National Honor Society as VP, and the Honor Society. My parents came to see me in the English National Honor Society induction ceremony and as part of the rules provided by my teacher I had to wear a dress. All I could think of as I got such a prestigious honor was Oh God, my legs look awful. These girls all look so pretty. Why do my ass and my legs have to be so huge? I spent the hour pulling my dress as far down as it would go without ripping off the sleeves and exposing my breasts.

After the ceremony, my dad asked me why I looked so uncomfortable. I just shrugged and said I don't like dressing up, which is true since I am more of a jeans and tee type of girl. He told me that I looked like I was trying to contort myself, trying so hard to hide myself by curling into a ball where no one could see me. I hadn't even realized I was doing that.

A part of this blog is meant to be even more than physical health. It's also emotional health because everything goes hand in hand. It's hard to work up the courage to lose weight or take care of yourself when you don't even like yourself. It's difficult to do, I know, but you have to try to look at yourself and remind yourself what you do like. If it helps, write a list and look at it when you need the support. Me, I love my curves and my eyes. I think they're my two best features. Try to think of your own best features.

Tip #27: Get Back to What Works

I'll admit it: So far this year has not been kind me. I've gained a little weight back and my skinny jeans can tell. I've done a lot lately: TweetWhatYouEat, SparkPeople, just plain old keeping a log. All in all, they've helped somewhat, but not to the magnitude that Weight Watchers did. So I'm shelling out the cash and getting back on track.

I'm over one week into my re-diet and I have to say it feels pretty good. My skinny jeans are still complaining but I feel lighter. I'm exercising more than I used to with the kind of motivation that Weight Watchers brings me. On Sunday, I got on my stationary bike and pedaled at or above 12 mph until I reached 15 miles. My legs were sore, but in a good way, like I know I accomplished something. I've lost over two pounds already this week. I'm standing up straighter and not as concerned with hiding my weight gain under really baggy clothes.

I'm eating a lot more fruit (which has no point value on the PointsPlus program) and cutting back on my cravings, which often total more than I can have (like my personal favorite Skippy peanut butter). I will say that my body is a lot hungrier now, which means that I was definitely eating more than I should have before and my body isn't used to the healthy calorie amount I'm at now. I've been through this before, so its really no trouble. I know I'll get through that.

So for right now, my skinnies are left to the back of my closet, but I feel asured that I can lose the weight to button them up again.

Tip #25: Post Holiday Weight Gain

My willpower sucks. It's true and I'll admit it. I just polished off my third cookie for today. I also gained back over five pounds during the holidays. Too much dessert, way too much dessert.

But I'm making a pact with myself. I'm not counting until the holidays are truly over. I'll continue my journey in the New Year because, right now, stepping on the scale is a bad idea. Every time I see that scale creep up, I get depressed and I eat. Which only makes the scale creep up more. Its a vicious cycle.

Right now, I'm eating what I want without a second thought. Sure that's far from healthy, but that's the goal. This is the one time of year I'm saying "To hell with it!" and munching on candy and cookies. I love eating the stuff and when I'm surrounded by it, I just can't say no. Rather than eating it and hating myself afterwards, I'm eating it and enjoying it, knowing that there is always time to burn the calories off in the New Year.

On January 1st, here's what I'm doing:
Any leftover candy is being donated to Operation Shoebox for the troops overseas.

Leftover cake and cookies (unwrapped) go straight in the trash.

No more specialty coffee drinks or soda.

Lunch (what is now consisting of pb&j and cookies or leftover pasta) will be made up of whole wheat sandwiches and veggies.

Dinner will be on a small plate and consist of veggies and protein (unlike the Sicilian pizza I had last night)

Dessert- cancelled. No eating after 8 pm.

Here's my New Year plan and as long as it is in writing here, I won't forget it and I won't slip up. If you plan on following your own New Year's Resolution, write down your own plan and read it everytime you want to indulge.

Tip #16: Don't Beat Yourself Up

Since the invention of the scale, it has been a woman's worst enemy. Or at least that is what I've always felt, until recently. The truth is, we really are our own worst enemy. The scale tells you a number, sure, and sometimes, you just hate seeing it written down like that. It never says, "Geez, you're really packing on the pounds, aren't you?" or "Man, you're fat!" It only tells us what our weight is. It doesn't even tell us whether we gained or lost a pound. The panic of seeing the number is all in our heads. The voice that tells us these confidence-shattering phrases is only in our heads.

Don't give that voice the chance to say it. First off, DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF EVERY DAY! That is such a horrible idea! Just don't do it! Every time you step on a scale when you are trying to lose weight, you want to see the scale move down, but losing a pound (or more) everyday is unhealthy. Aim for between one to two pounds a week. Therefore, weigh yourself every week only. Have a set date and time to do that, as your weight fluxuates through out the day.

Second, when you step on the scale, keep a mantra in your head or written down in front of you, reminding you that the scale doesn't change anything. So what if it went up? You're gorgeous anyway. You aren't trying to become Twiggy 2! You're trying to get healthy and it doesn't matter how long that takes.

Lastly, remember that getting healthy takes time. Don't set rediculous goals for yourself. It will make you do unhealthy things in the end, like skipping meals or cutting calories to the point you can't function properly. The goal isn't to be super-skinny or like a starved girl in a magazine. The goal is to get healthy.