Eat Right, Eat Happy

I've been eating so crappy lately and I hate to admit it, but it's true. I've been skipping breakfast, having only Luna bars for lunches (if I eat lunches at all), then I come home and home a spoonful of peanut butter. I usually expect to eat a healthy dinner of some sort (grilled chicken, steamed veggies, etc.) but lately I've been shoveling down burgers and fries like it's a lifeline. At least I haven't had pizza in weeks.

Tonight I'm having a salad and last night for dessert as my parents were forking ice cream sundaes I mixed up a light "cocktail" and all the water in it filled me up. I poured in ice, seltzer, and orange juice and made a light Orange Julius and it was so good. More importantly, I felt better in the morning and less dehydrated. Today, I had cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Felt awful. For lunch I had turkey and cheese. Much better. Then I had a banana. So much better. There is a direct correlation between mood and meals. That's the truth. Your body knows when you're eating badly. It wants the vitamins and minerals and healthy (if not so tasty) parts of veggies and proteins and fruits. If you go long periods of time without them, replacing them with, essentially, crap, you're only hurting yourself, in the long term and short term.

Cleanse the Soul, not the Body

Just to clarify I don't look to lose weight because I want to look like a Victoria's Secret model. I know my body wasn't built to ever look like that and I've come to terms with that. But sometimes I forget that just because I put on a few extra pounds, it isn't a reason to hide my body.

I do well in school, not valedictorian good but good enough to get me into the Italian National Honor Society, the English National Honor Society as VP, and the Honor Society. My parents came to see me in the English National Honor Society induction ceremony and as part of the rules provided by my teacher I had to wear a dress. All I could think of as I got such a prestigious honor was Oh God, my legs look awful. These girls all look so pretty. Why do my ass and my legs have to be so huge? I spent the hour pulling my dress as far down as it would go without ripping off the sleeves and exposing my breasts.

After the ceremony, my dad asked me why I looked so uncomfortable. I just shrugged and said I don't like dressing up, which is true since I am more of a jeans and tee type of girl. He told me that I looked like I was trying to contort myself, trying so hard to hide myself by curling into a ball where no one could see me. I hadn't even realized I was doing that.

A part of this blog is meant to be even more than physical health. It's also emotional health because everything goes hand in hand. It's hard to work up the courage to lose weight or take care of yourself when you don't even like yourself. It's difficult to do, I know, but you have to try to look at yourself and remind yourself what you do like. If it helps, write a list and look at it when you need the support. Me, I love my curves and my eyes. I think they're my two best features. Try to think of your own best features.